how we develop also guides the way we repair
The way that we see ourselves and the world... depends on how we felt, and how others felt about being with us, and how they acted towards us, when we were very young...
This is a Neuro-Sequential Model, created by Dr Bruce Perry, and illustrated by Beacon House, UK.
Our brains are creating 'maps' of how to handle life's challenges, especially between the ages of 0-7 yrs. This does not match the more sophisticated demands upon us, as teens and adults! Would you hand any of your current, adult decisions to a 3 year old? No chance! But until those 'maps' are brought into consciousness... they continue to determine our REACTIONS to the 'here and now' - but they are actually out-of-date ways of dealing with struggles we had to deal with on our own / or not enough support. They were very helpful, but now they're often the reason we feel disconnected from ourselves and others, and have worries about things we can't control.
When our brains were developing, (from the non-verbal brain-stem and nervous system upwards), impressions or maps from comforting and highly stressful experiences were formed. These maps are 're-played', when we encounter circumstances that cause us to feel vulnerable / unsure / unsafe.
Some of these are very helpful and healthful... like reaching out to trustworthy, loved ones, when we need support... Some are very unhelpful and life-limiting... like avoiding conflict, connection or expression, when we feel sad, angry or scared... This can lead us to feeling more helpless and ashamed... which can lead to states of depression, anxiety and rage.
Physical and Emotional Pain... Fatigue... Can represent early struggles, and can be used as opportunities to heal parts of the brain and mind.
Instead of avoiding relationships, or circumstances, and environments or trying to control circumstances so that we don't have to feel as helpless as we once were, we are presented with an opportunity to resolve past stressful / traumatic experiences, by cultivating a 'relationship' with our different 'maps' and Parts. This internal relating and soothing has the power to transform our physical and emotional well being, our relationships and lives.